Well tomorrow I go for my second doctors appointment all my blood work I s still good so far. I'm hoping they'll let me weigh tomorrow as well. Fingers crossed for another 2 pounds to make it 20!

I joined anytime fitness today! So excited to be back in the gym. I only walked 2 miles on a 2 incline. I didn't want to over do it and be sore tomorrow. I also treated myself to 7 mins in the tanning bed. I can't believe tomorrow will start my 6th week! Wow!

The past 3 days have been really good for me emotionally. I actually laughed and didn't feel guilty. I haven't shared with you much about my Granny and it's only fair to share with the world this special blessing I had in my life. From the time I was little I had 3 very important people in my life. My momma, my granny and my great grandmother. Me and my mother lived with my Granny when I was small and moved out on our own for 2 years before my mother passed away. Of course when given the choice where to live after I lost mom I choose Granny's house. I like to think we helped each other out she raised me and I helped take care of her as well. When asked she always told people we took care of each other. It was heart breaking to see this once strong woman start losing her strength each day it got a little worse. When I was 23 just two years I ago I had to make the hard choice of moving out on my own to finish school and start a life of my own 2 hours away from home. I can honestly say it was hardest thing I ever done. I felt so guilty for leaving but in my heart knew it was the right thing to do. We still talked every day. In fact the day she died we had spoke just 2 hours before I got the phone call. She told me something I'll never forget. "Take care of my grand daughter. No one else will but you." I finally let that process in my mind. And being depressed and emotionless is not taking care of myself. She would want me to be happy. She was excited about my optifast program just as I am. So I dedicated this new better me to my sweet Granny my best friend who is now singing in Heaven's choir.

My sweet granny holding her mommys hand the day before she died last march.

Last Christmas 😊

Updated picture!

Well drum roll.....another 2 pounds down since Thursday which makes 4 pounds for the week and 18 for the month! It wasn't the 20 I was hoping for but I have to take into thought the rough patch I had when I lost my Granny and Aunt. Good news is blood pressure is back to normal it's not perfect but it's not sky high or dangerously low anymore. My first month of optifast wasn't that bad I still say if you make it the first 3 days you've got it! It's crazy to believe I'm almost half way there. My program may be a 14 or 16 week deal instead of the 12 I was hoping for. I'm still not going to the bathroom on my own without a little extra help. That's normal for me through. I just hate it while I'm on optifast. Boo! I didn't attend the meeting last night. Between my female problems and Devin being sleepy we decided to take a night off and rest. I'm still not hungry. Expect the nights I work till 11 I just drink a glass Metamucil it helps ALOT. It's still hard to eat when I'm not hungry I'm not programmed that way. The shakes help a lot with that. Most days I do 4 shakes and 1 bar. Sometimes 3 shakes, bar, and a soup. The tomato soup really helps with my female pain. I also got mrs dash chili lime seasoning and it tastes amazing! Anywho I need to clean a little before work tonight so I'll stop rambling.

Meet the newest member of our family. Sassy carter! She came up a few weeks ago we think she was dumped since she's so friendly to us and the dogs she had to belong to somebody.

Great stuff and a must try!

A beautiful MS Wednesday. It's freezing and they are calling for tornados Saturday.

Well I have finally been able to potty. I'm still having to take milk of magnesia but it's progress. I stopped by the spa yesterday which is next door to my doctor so for curious reasons I wanted to check my weight. Another 2 pounds down. That's a total of 4 pounds this week and 16 all together! Yay! Now it isn't advised to check your weight often but with the whole potty ordeal I needed to see for myself. I'm hoping for another 4 pounds or more by Tuesday so my first month can be a 20 pound loss. It's hard to believe it's almost been a month already. I'd like to find a gym soon. One I'll feel myself at. I've been wearing a little makeup here and there to feel better about myself. This is a big deal considering I don't wear make up period!

Aren't my nails pretty! Thanks to Suthern, Angel, and the girls!

Little things I've noticed on optifast.

I don't feel all gas move around in my belly anymore

I feel lighter

I can kinda see a difference but not much

My sense of smell is stronger especially towards Bim Bam bugers

I go around the store I work and read labels

Carbonated drinks make me hungry and feel bad

I'm slowly getting my energy back

I more open to talking to different people

Cravings: anything with protein eggs, chicken, cheese

Vegs

Well anywho it's time to get ready for work!

Hey guys! Sorry long time no update! It's been a tough week getting back in the swing of things at work. I went for weigh in last night and another 2 pounds down for a total of 14 pounds down in 3 1/2 weeks! The shocker is I went in Monday to get something and I asked to weigh and my weight was the same as last week. Next day 2 pounds gone! I haven't used the bathroom but once since last week so this has a lot to do with my weight not showing much change. You got it I'm full of crap haha. That and the human food from last week I'm sure. Which I still haven't wanted. I had a bite of a hamburger meat hoping the fat would help me potty and I did but not much :(. My doctors appointment is Friday excited about that. Even through I ate human food last week I know he'll understand the why and how of it. I've also notice I don't want my bars much anymore. I ordered 7 brownie bar, 3 shake mixes for my coffee, 3 soups, & 22 pre mixed shakes. I love love the French vanilla! I'm still not very hungry. I did notice last night when my 3 hours were up to eat again I was HUNGRY! I wanted my soup and I wanted it now! My rings are a lot looser already. So much so I've had to put them away. I've had people tell me they could see I've lost weight. I can't see it but I can feel it.

June of this year.

Yesterday afternoon. I can see a little bit.

This is my goal. I wore a size 12 here. It was my senior year. I want this or better!

Anywho it's time for my morning coffee that I now love and must have!

So I'm sure all of you are wondering if I stuck to my optifast. Well considering I forgot my shakes Wednesday when I left to go home I'd say no. I was very aware of what I was eating I did get a shake in before I left. I knew I had to eat so I ate maybe 10-12 Lima beans, a bite of sweet potato, and a bite of ham. Later in the day I ate some tuna. Even through I hated not to stick to the optifast I was very pleased to notice that I ate very slow and got full very fast. I don't believe I lost my ketosis. I'm back to my optifast and have been for the past two days. No I'm not wanting as I call it "human food". I ate Wednesday for strength and fuel for my body. I'm drinking lots and lots of water to flush out any extra sodium I did intake. Considering how low my blood pressure was I don't think it will hurt me. I still want this and I still want to finish my optifast program. We are back on track!

I'm loving my coffee station!

The call. You know the one you never want to get. The one you dread. The one you scared you'll receive one day. And pray you don't. Where in a total of 60 seconds you life goes from perfect to empty. I received that call around 7:15 last night. The one I've been scared to death of since I was 15. The call that has forever changed my life in a ways I'm afraid to even think about. The call saying my Granny had went home to be with Jesus. She took over being my mom when I lost mine in 2004.

Your probably wondering why I'm sharing this with you on my optifast blog. Mainly because last night after I found out my body went into a state of shock and it's still there. I was reaching trying anyway to find out how to deal with grief while fasting. Truth is I found nothing. So this is for someone in the future who may need this. I went to the doctor early this morning before traveling home to be with my family. My blood pressure was 64/56. I have wonderful nurse and doctors who have called and check on me through out the day. I asked could I eat a little regular food to help with the headaches and blood pressure last thing I wanna do is fate in front of my already grieving family. Through it is against the diet I was told I know my body better than anyone and to give it what it needs to get through this.

Today I've done 4 shakes and a bar. I ate maybe a finger tip full of chicken which my body repelled. I've drank lots more water. I do plan on eating maybe a couple raw vegs tomorrow and fruit. Very very very small amounts so I won't lose my ketosis.

I'll will keep you updates on how my body does through this.

Hi guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. There just isn't much to say. Everything is the same. I'm still not hungry. I've done 3 shakes so far today. Tomorrow is weigh in day! Excited and nervous as always! I haven't been drinking as much water as the past 2 weeks I still drink my 64ozs but not more.

I'm hoping that doesn't effect my weight if so I'll know to force it down next week. My reward for 10 pounds lost came in today!

I will admit the coffee does taste better. Today is my day off so I've done a whole lot of nothing. I've sleep most of the day. I'm being brave and cooking one of my favorite dishes for Devin. I've had to smell it all day and even through it smells heavenly I don't want it I'm not hungry. Doesn't it look yummy through!?!?

A small pork loin seasoned with garlic and lemon! I've decided optifast won't rule my life I rule my life. I've got to learn food is just that food. I might can't eat right now but that's no reason Dev should be forced to feel bad for eating. Plus I've got my keurig who needs that pork loin! Lol! Anywho, I've got more coffees to try so I'll check in with you guys tomorrow after weigh in!

Yes yes I know I let myself have a coke zero. I thought it was nice for making it through the holiday. I really wish I hadn't through I got a very icky headache last night and I think it may been the reason. I also did a little Black Friday shopping!

I have been wanting a Ninja forever so I finally got one along with a crock pot, electric skillet, pillows and my Keurig(which won't be here till next week.). Mostly things I can't use till Feb 8 or 15 really whose counting!?! Lol!

I'm still not very hungry. In fact the only reason I'm still awake is because I have to eat again soon. The whole eating every 2.5-3 hours thing is getting very annoying. I've done 2 shakes, a bar, & soup so far. I'll do another shake soon. My energy levels have been great today I slept about 13 hours last night that might have something to do with it. I've done a lot of cleaning and still have a good bit of energy but with work in the morning it's settling down time for me.

It's hard to believe tomorrow I will start week 3. The only hard part so far for me another then the first 3 days when you body is changing. Is the whole eating the same things over and over. Anywho I've been rambling on enough. Hope you Guys had a great holiday!

Well, today was my first official weigh in. I was hoping for 7-8 pounds at the most. That's the average. I didn't get my 7 or 8. I got better I got 10!! 10 pounds in 10 days! Now this is the first week so not all my weeks will be this good. Goodbye 270 hello 260! The nurse said my ketosis seemed to be very strong! I'm still not very hungry so this week I ordered 14 shakes, 21 bars, & a extra shake for my coffee for the week. 10 pounds is a reward weight for me do I've decided since the spa is closed for the week my keurig will be my reward. I'm going to order it tomorrow or Thursday. I'm beyond excited! God is blessing me through this program so much! I'm truly greatfil. Our project from the meeting is to name 10 things we love bout our body so I'll share that list with you tomorrow night. Any who I'm fixing to soak in my big tub and relax.

Ps this stuff is great!

So yesterday was pretty great. I didn't get very much sleep maybe 4 hours due to my work schedule. But, I still had a good bit of energy even with being tired. To bad work was completely dead. I guess that's what happenes when you live in a SEC College (Ole Miss) Town and it's thanksgiving week. I wasn't hungry any yesterday till I smelled Devins supper (chili from Wendy's). I replayed in my mind all the honor stories of restaurant food and my hunger left. I've been doing more shakes lately. Since I have to eat something and I'm not hungry they work out pretty great. The coffee and green tea are starting to grow on me. So much so I've decided I want a keurig for my Christmas to myself. I'm pretty pumped about it. Today is weigh in day I'll try and report back to you guys tonight! I'm sure it's only maybe 7 or 8 pounds since the start of my optifast but if it's 10 you will see this fat chick jump and scream! Our meeting tonight will be about making it through the Holidays. I've got this! I want this! AnyWho I'm rambling ttyl!

I want that keurig!